Crackity Crack crack
by nikkirowe
Summary: This is just a silly crack fic my friend gave me an idea for. It may contain future playful slash and will be rated T for that, as well as some language. Please read it and if it made you laugh REVIEW. Disclaimer inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**This story is purely Crack and for fun so don't hate : P I love reviews!**

**Draco: don't give her reviews she's bonkers**

**Me: that's why they love me sugar snake XD ONWARD!**

Crackity crack crack

Draco stared challengingly into the face before him. _I will not stand down, you do not intimidate the Malfoy heir, with your' bloody eyes that seem to stare into my soul_…

The chocolate colored horse whinnied happily, and nudged Draco with its' long nose. The blonde simultaneously cringed and shrieked as if it had actually bitten him. Ron Weasley snickered as he watched the showdown between Betsy the horse and Draco Malfoy while saddling up his own mare a couple yards away. "Oi Malfoy! Scared of a bloody horse are you? Man that hippogriff must have really traumatized you back in third year, eh?" Ron chuckled. Draco glared at the redhead angrily, "Malfoys do not get scared!" he replied haughtily whilst inching carefully away from the large animal. Betsy stared at Draco confusedly and pointed at the saddle and bridle sitting on a stool close to them with her nose. Draco looked taken aback, _Oh no, I don't trust you and I'm not going near you with those things. Bloody demon horse!_

By this time the entirety of fifth year students was comfortably situated on their assigned horses, and ready for their school fieldtrip, except for a certain blonde. The class was Muggle studies and their section was non magic animals at the moment. Draco had always been a bit more wary of large beasts, but this one seemed even more intimidating for a reason Draco could not understand. Everyone was looking extremely annoyed by the blonde at this point but he couldn't bring himself to try calling a truce with Betsy. "Draky Poo! Just get on the horse, it's no big deal!" Pansy Parkinson cooed to her best friend. Draco gave her a look that could kill. The small girl smiled when she noticed who was approaching now. "Oooh Don't look now Drakey, your' hero is coming to save the day."

Harry Potter sauntered up to the girl struggling to get her friend onto Betsy the horse and held his hand up to the front of her face. "I'll take it from here Pansy" he said in a sing song voice. The girl shrugged and walked off. Harry gave Betsy a pat, and said simply "What seems to be the problem Sugar Snake?" with a wink. Ron rose his eyebrows slightly and murmured "Sugar Snake?!" in an incredulous voice from afar. The blonde glared daggers at the golden boy, "Don't call me that Potter" he snarled. Harry just grinned "That's Harry Beary to you, now what's the problem, are you and Miss Betsy having a pow wow?" Draco stared at the brunette with wide eyes, _has he gone mad?!_ "That thing is evil and it wants to kill me, can't you see the look in its eyes?" the taller boy shouted at the brunette. Harry glanced over at Betsy's' dopey face and back at Draco's which was, at the moment, paralyzed in fear. The Brunette sighed, that man and his stupid fear of large animals. "Will it make you feel better if we ride her together?" he asked Draco. "Why would I want to ride a stupid horse with a stupid Potter may I ask?" Draco drawled. "HARRY BEARY!" the brunette shrieked, and everyone looked to their direction in alarm. "Okay, okay I'll ride the thing with you, just be quiet will you!" Draco whispered in a panic. Harry squealed happily and literally threw Draco onto Betsy and then with a small skip, hoped on her himself.

At this queue, Harry slapped Betsy on the arse and screamed "ONWARD!" at the top of his lungs. _This is going to be a looonnggg ride_, Draco thought miserably as Betsy reared up, and then charged into the forest with the rest of the horses following closely behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes the grammar/spelling may be wrong. I don't care this is for fun. If it made you laugh review! **

Draco scowled at "Harry Beary's" back as they lead the rest of the group through the muggle forest. Betsy had that dopey look on her face that made Draco want to hurt himself and she kept stopping to eat branches off of trees! Harry turned his head to check on Draco, and grinned. "Why so down Sugar Snake, this is the happy forest and in the happy forest there's no room for angry Sugar Snakes!" he exclaimed while pulling Draco's arms tighter around him. Draco tried his hardest to get away from the brunette but he had a grip like the hulk. "It's because I'm Harry freaking Potter" he exclaimed cheerily. Draco sighed aggravated, "so you can read my thoughts now, joy" he growled. Harry ignored that statement and smacked Betsy on the rear, making her go from a normal trot to a gallop. Draco bounced up and down on the back of Betsy, he wondered if he would soon be sick. Pansy cackled behind them, "LOOOOKK Drakey Poo is trying to rub up against Potter isn't that cute, they'll have little lion-snake babies!" she squealed. Everyone just stared with their mouths gaping open. Ron wailed sadly, "I can't unsee this trip Mione'! What has the world come to and what the hell is wrong with 'Arry?!" Hermione patted Ron on the arm, "there, there Ronald, it'll all be over soon. Look! There's the end of the trail!" Draco perked up at hearing this and began enjoying the ride a little more. He smiled to himself, almost out, he thought! "OH WAIT SHORT CUT!" Harry shrieked and charged Betsy straight through an extremely large and thick hedge. Draco looked at the back of the golden boys' head incredulously, and growled as they exited the bush. The blonde began picking leaves and sticks out of his hair. When he was done he turned a murderous gaze on Harry Potter. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT YOU STUPID GIT?" He raged. Harry just grinned toothily back at the blonde. "It's a short/not so short/okay possibly extremely longer than what was originally planned cut!" he chirped happily. At this point Draco wrapped his hands around the brunette's neck and proceeded in choking the life out of him. Draco just gave up and admitted to himself that the damn Gryffindor just refused to ever die eventually. Harry gave Betsy a little kick to start her going again and they were off on their own adventure. Draco died a little inside after failing at strangling Harry Potter so he sat on the back of Betsy in a paralyzed state, tuning out all the madness and going to his happy place where he was King Draco and Harry did not exist. He dreamt of smashing the weasels face against a rock. Yes, it was very obvious that Draco had some anger issues that needed dealing with. "VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!" Harry howled as they trotted through the forest. Draco had to disagree. "There are many, many good times for violence to be the answer and now is one of them, it's just useless on you for some stupid unknown reason" Draco hissed angrily.

"I'll get you for this I promise Potter", he scowled. "HARRRYYY BBEEAAAAARRRYYYYYY you son of a flying troll fairy!" Harry wailed, and off they went again.


End file.
